It was many years ago and we were poor. I was pregnant, tired and struggling with depression. My computer literacy was even less than it is now but I did know how to click the little “solitaire” icon and play the card game, and I did, over and over and over again.
Our son Kealen (age fifteen, then two) toddled his little diaper-clad self into the office one day and asked me about the “puter”. His exact words were….”Momy play’puter’?” My heart did a “pang” when I heard his innocent voice asking me about the “puter” and I realized that I was neglecting my precious little fifth born boy for a machine.
Computers are miraculous inventions. With the touch of a button we can share information, contact like- minded people and learn just about anything.
We can also create a cyber-reality and give the impression that we are almost perfect Titus 2 women who run organized homes, raise godly children and bless our husbands all while we blog, facebook and twitter about it!
Our readers don’t see us when we impatiently yell up the stairs for our teens to come finish the dishes or watch us groggily slam the coffee pot on the counter in frustration because we are out of beans and it is 6 am. in the rainy Pacific Northwest.
In other words, it’s easy to fake it on the computer screen.
But God (in His goodness) gave us children. Children who know what “real” is even when we are fooling ourselves. Children who see the hypocrisy when we hide it from our husbands. Children whose hearts are created for real.
Maybe your nemesis isn’t the amount of time you spend on the computer but the time you spend on your hand-held thingy, texting or talking.
You know, when you’re at the playground and your preschooler is calling out, “Mommy, mommy, mommy WATCH ME!”? (and sometimes you feel like you are going to go berserk if she calls your name one more time?)…did you know that she truly, really needs you just to watch her? You validate her! She doesn’t want some other mommy watching her she wants you! When you look at her…really look at her…something wonderful happens inside of her.
Make no mistake about it, this parenting thing takes a lifetime and it is made up of all those seemingly insignificant moments of watching and clapping and listening and remembering.
The same goes for marriage. Don’t postpone spending time with your husband until after everything else is done. You’ll find yourself no longer married to a man who bitterly thinks you never cared. Don’t buy the lie the feminists keep rehashing that anyone can build a glorious, happy marriage with one hand tied behind their back. That is foolishness.
We all have only twenty-four hours in a day and, I don’t know about you, but an inordinate amount of my day is spent on waking people up and putting them to bed, finding lost things and replacing broken things. If we throw in a clogged toilet and an argument that needs to be solved there just isn’t a whole lot of time left over for being constantly distracted by our cool devices.
So, if you have to turn off your computer forever…do it! Be real.
If you have to leave your phone behind for part of the day…do it! Be real.
Make sure you really see your child because, it’s true what they say, children grow up too fast.
Don’t miss out on hearing the amazing things your children say. Don’t miss out on catching them doing something right. Don’t miss out on looking them in the eyes and telling them, “I am so glad you were born.”
This post is dedicated to my friend Connie who is going through Facebook withdrawals after realizing that it had become a stumbling block to her in different areas. Fight the good fight, my friend!